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[sextoyjunkie]

Merry Christmas My Friends!! Hope you and your familes have an awesome chirstmas!

Here's a little humor forevery one Enjoy!   

It was the night before Christmas [by STJ]
It was the night before Christmas and not a creature was sound not even a mouse..
In fact it was too quiet.... way too quiet. While everyone is fast asleep, evil lurks
upon the world, while every one is away waiting for santa to bring the toys to
grown ups all over the. Something went wrong... The evil people that are against
Japanese meikis are planning to ruin Christmas for everyone!!!! The villains break
into sextoy retailers all over japan, to keep us from getting our meikis on
that morning of December 25th 2011. The Villainous group broke into
every meiki shop in Japan! leaving millions clueless and wondering what
happened to "our products?!?!" While the evil group plans to take over
all of our meiki's and replace them with crappy products to brainwash
the entire world with making people think it's better, but it's not!

Who will save us from chaos, and get those meiki's to those horny users
before christmas arrives. Meanwhile in America.. a Young man by
the name of sextoyjunkie, could be our only hope... as sextoyjunkie
watches the CNN and finds out great catastrophe has happen on the
night before christmas, stj gets highly angry at what's going on in
the world right now.

sextoyjunkie: *angry turns off the TV* What the helllllll, those cock blocking
terrorist bastards stealing all our meiki's..  I guess the FBI and CIA can't do
nothing about this, even the police punked out... So i guess it's up to me
to put an end to all of this! *Uncensored Japanese porn playing in the background
* *stj looks over at pc monitor* "FUCK!".... i guess i'll have to use my XZY later
Dammit those cock blocking terrorists!! She have big tits too!! and.... nipples.

Hmm..... *pauses it* I'll have to get back to this later!  *grabs gear*
looks like i am going to have to save Christmas........... and the world too.
Those bastards not going to ruin my chirstmas and my friends on TD christmas too
I just ordered that Extreme Pleasure Hip too! *calls santa, Santa... it's STJ...
yeah... i know i been a naughty man this Christmas but look man i need your help

Santa: *picks up the phone* sextoyjunkie is that you?

sextoyjunkie: yes it is!! Listen i need your help man... Do you have any meiki's
on your sleigh right now?? Listen!! These cockblocking terrorists are trying to ruin
the world and i need to make sure everyone get's their meiki's in time!!

Santa: I've asked my elves and even mrs. clause and i don't have them in
stocked on my sleigh... but usually the elves i catch them every year around
this time.. i caught them so many times using the Proof of Meiki 001 and others.
But even at my  age i can't remember but we defiantly don't have them this year.

sextoyjunkie: Ahhh man listen Santa as i told you earlier these masked terrorists
stole our..... hold on a sec i just got a text msg *Reads txt from FBI*
"This is the Federal  Bureau  Investigation.. Please be advised the masked
men that went on to burglarize these outlets in japan and parts of america.
These men will be brought in to justice, these men are a group of people based
in america they go under the handle as FLI, these men will be brought to justice"


sextoyjunkie: FLI.............. why i am not surprised... Santa i hated to bother you man
but i have some business to take care of, i found out my arch nemesis group was behind
this all alone.. Oh and Santa are you still going to hook me up with that Ferrari 458 Italia
I been telling you about for like 13 months now?

Santa: *Santa has a very scary look on his face* Ummm.. I don't know You've been bad
this year

sextoyjunkie: Santa Claus... This is a bet, if i bring these cockblocking bastards down.
You owe me my 458, if i don't well i just been a bad boy and dont deserve something
this year, but listen my buddies are counting on me for this i cannot let them down!
Signed.... Sealed...... and delivered..

Santa:..... Your such a Jerkoff at times STJ

sextoyjunkie: yeah... only when i run out of lube i'll be back i gotta get my flight to
Japan i know those idiots sat up shop there, and maybe i can score a Japanese
hottie with big tits in the process.

*STJ Hangs up phone*

Santa:..... *Checks naughty & nice list* sigh.... i don't know what to do..

Narrator: the Hero.. sextoyjunkie also known as the savior of the onaholes
Flies to japan and try to get to the bottom of things,  he was so determined
to get over there, he didn’t mind the very long flight  from Louisiana to Japan
in fact he loves it, flirting with all the sexy flight attendants in skimpy clothes on
SOTO (Savior Of The Onaholes) mind snaps right back into place and realizes
he needs to  focus on the objective of the mission:
Operation Don’t Fuck With Our Meiki’s .


Finally our hero has made it to his destination on arrival to take out the evil
FLI inc.  As he enters the grounds of Osaka, armed and ready to get this over with
knowing he doesn’t want to let everyone down only  7 hours till Christmas. 
Left down on the melting clock. 


This is what I call one helluva place stated by  SOTO, but as it lies in
temporary ruins from  thievery and jealously from this idiotic pea brain
group. SOTO investigates the crime scene seeing footprints and damaged
meiki’s lie on the ground.  As SOTO balls up his fists in pure rage.
As he states that he will get those bastards.

Suddenly SOTO walks over a rock which looks to be a rock but really it’s a dirt
mound. As SOTO takes a tactical flashlight and finds an odd card.

sextoyjunkie:.. What The Helll…. *turns the odd looking cardboardlooking card over*
*laughs and cheers* are these guys serious?? Who puts the name of they’re website
On a piece of cardboard paper. It’s them alright! * SOTO Reads the FLI inc and notices
a URL on the back* * Looks up with an grin on his face* These guys have got to be
the biggest idiots on planet earth.  I bet a Alien from Jupiter with millons of
birth defects , and his brain up his asshole would plan something better than this!

25 Mins later, SOTO  finds the all black building which looks like a factory.
He’s so shocked on how could a domestic terrorist group in America
have a secret headquarters such as this.  It looks like a Shoe box
with plastic wrap in the windows. States  SOTO.  He goes around and looks
around and notices in the back part of the shitty  looking facility, that it’s
guarded lighty.

With in the next 8 Minutes SOTO prepares before he goes into the guarded
area.  Armed with firepower, a Colt M4 & dual FN P90 SMG’s . As he enters
ducking the giant 40 foot spotlight watching from above.  As he hugs the wall
posting up armed and ready for anything. SOTO notices a big bunker
that’s hardly any light. He see’s if the coast is clear, SOTO performs a
Diving Roll, rolling towards the underground bunker. 
34 mins has passed and SOTO notices a piece of cardboard, on the ground that’soiled with
dirt and concrete powder.  As he examines the small sliced of a box, He notices
That the piece of cardboard could have been sliced off from a Proof Of Meiki 006
YJY.

sextoyjunkie: Dammit It cannot be too far.. they must be around here somewhere.

SOTO walks stealthy to avoid notice, and wants to remain undetected.  From
surveillance & security quarters. Within 13 mins, he notices he’s on the right track.
SOTO learns that he’s in the right area, SOTO notices a 100 foot wall barrier
which leads to a vault.. SOTO opens the vault.

sextoyjunkie: Look’s like someone has forgotten to lock up something…

SOTO carefully opens the super squeaky vault carefully to avoid detection.
As he watches the clock he must hurry. Only 2 hours and 33 minutes
till Christmas.

sextoyjunkie: Man I have to hurry up I can’t let my friends and many others down!!
OH SHIT…. I can’t go much further  a couple of guards are patrolling this very era
hmmm… *looks in pockets* Look’s like the only thing I have left is my Maria Ozawa
Meiki pullout poster….


SOTO has  found a way to get past the guards.  He takes a rock and rubberband
and attaches it to the Maria Ozawa pullout poster and folds it into a paper airplane.
He throws the airplane into position  the,  one guard heard a noise, and got curious.
As the guard replies… Huh…?? What’s that noise. As he goes to check it out.
He and 2 other guards get excited and watches the poster, sadly they don’t know
That it came from a boxed meiki, and not something you’d get in a magazine.
Little do they know. SOTO by passes the dumb guards and get further..
He’s running out of time and must hurry.  In the next 5 minutes. He
finds a FLI inc member with a Top Karen Meiki,  and surrounded by
thousands of meiki’s stolen in japan and small parts of the United States.

SOTO has no choice and running out of options..  But only too…






sextoyjunkie: Get on the ground!! Get on the ground Drop the fuckin Meiki asshole!!!
You aren’t going no where do you know what you and your faction has done?
You’ve got me way over here in Japan…… Which I don’t mind… I had porn tube sites
running on my damn pc! And was about to watch Cat Walk Poison on DVD!
Do you know what you’ve DONE???!?! You are not going to ruin me and
many other people’s Christmas I been saving my money up working my ass
off to get this Extreme Pleasure Hip Meiki. I’m not going to let you And the
rest of your cronies stop me.

FLI inc High Member: Look please… Please don’t hurt me *stuttering a million miles an hour*
Its……

sextoyjunkie: It’s What???!!!!! TELL ME NOW DAMMIT!!

FLI inc High Member:… okay okay…. Please…. Please don’t hurt me..
It’s just we….

sextoyjunkie we??? We What??!!?!

FLI inc High Member:  Okay I’m going to tell you the truth..
We we’re  planning on destroying these…

sextoyjunkie: Destory What??!?!?! Destory What?!?!

FLI inc High Member:  I mean….  The people made these toys
well… they stole our compound  and we aren’t making any money.
this year… Please don’t  hurt me Mr. Junkie

sextoyjunkie: It’s sextoyjunkie got dammit!

FLI inch High Member: Right… Right.. I’m sorry you can have all of these meiki’s
back please don’t hurt us.. I have a wife and 3 kids and my daughter is going to
finish College this year, she loves her dad, I can give you money.

sextoyjunkie: Money wont fix everything you cockblockers you’ve done
You destroyed  retailer shops, and trashed the streets of Osaka.
Tell the judge that you all aren’t going anywhere.  *hits button to lock all
steel bulletproof doors*


Meanwhile

Looks like SOTO has finally  did it, he look to have saved Christmas from the FLI
Thugs. Christmas is saved and later on that day around 9:15AM, SOTO has ordered
air service to bring back the meiki’s back to it’s rightful owners and the customers
That placed orders  before Christmas.  Meanwhile SOTO calls Santa, and the deal
was a success. He get’s his Ferrari Italia And everyone one got what they wanted
for Christmas!  As for the so called FLI group they will be flying into a jail cell
and locked up for, 4,000 years from now. They will be released from jail on
12/25/6011, and stj got his new meiki and a sexy oriental lady from the flight.


sextoyjunkie big speech.

sextoyjunkie: I come to you all today, all my Meiki brothers out there
I did what I said  I was going to do. To Bring justice back and get what
you all wanted for Christmas, it was a rough mission but I made sure
I didn’t give up, if I gave up I would of gave up on our meiki’s and my
friends as well. So I want to thank you all for having me here.
You all have a great Christmas and use your Meiki’s and lock your doors!


 

[TD_GG]

TLDR