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Author Topic: Measure Your Dick  (Read 4127 times)

Offline Spencer Spillseed

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Measure Your Dick
« on: May 27, 2015, 08:26:01 AM »
I see a few reviews from people who buy two inch onaholes and slam them with ten foot cocks, then blame the onahole with one star reviews for not holding up to being assaulted by their kong dongs.

So, I got this little dick that, when full-on rock hard, is a mighty five and a quarter. How do I know this? I got a fucking ruler, watched some of my favorite porn, got fully hard, and used the ruler on my baby dick.

So, knowing is half the battle.

I know that if I write a review, it has to take into account my tiny cock. What I experience will not be the same as someone with a nine inch hard man staff throbbing with gonorrhea. This point seems lost on some reviews, so when reading reviews pay careful attention to the words.

For example, if someone starts off very early in the review with "Eight inches blah blah" and they are reviewing an onahole that is only five inches long, and they complain that the hole was completely destroyed by the lasers that their robo dick shot, then take the review with a grain of salt. They gave it one star because they are stupid.

So, get a ruler. I'm serious. Tape measure or some shit. Buy a hole that fits instead of being a retard. Why buy shoes three sizes two small?

Also, perhaps you have a nine inch turbo master shlong, but you want a tiny onahole because that's just how you roll. That's fine. I'm just sayin', it seem strange to me when people take a tiny rubber pussy, slam it with a footlong, only to complain later that it ripped or didn't feel right. If you want to stick half of your giant cock in a little bitty piece of rubber then fine, but if you slam it like Captain Caveman and it breaks, then that's the same as buying a shirt that's too small and bitching when the seams part.

Every onahole I've seen reviewed gives rough dimensions in the "specifications" section, so, measure that meat, and buy a hole that you can fuck like an animal. If you like to stick just your mighty head into something small, then there's nothing wrong with that. My problem is with people who whine because they broke their tiny toy with their Yeti dork.
Proudly power pounding prosthetic pussies to purge my prostate.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2015, 08:36:08 AM by Spencer Spillseed »
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Proudly power pounding prosthetic pussies to purge my prostate.

Offline johnhiggin

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Re: Measure Your Dick
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2015, 02:14:41 PM »
Yes, people definitely need to take into account the size of their dick and the fact others have different dicks as well when it comes to buying a toy. Then there is the sensitivity differences we will have.

One problem is that some people can state their size and they measure in the internet style which means adding an inch or two to what they truly are.

Generally no onahole will be big enough if anyone actually has a huge dick and wishes to pound it. They're designed for dicks under 7 inches in length and under probably 5.75 inches in girth.

Girth to me is the key when it comes to reading some reviews. The mouth of truth gets raved on and with my 5.25" girth dick, the thing is very tight and makes me think so many raving about it must be under 5 inches in girth....especially if they keep the teeth in as the teeth were killer when I first tried it. That or they have very desensitized dicks.
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Offline HardGay

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Re: Measure Your Dick
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2015, 08:11:57 AM »
Amen~~~

I've been reading reviews here and there on some of the toys on the site...I always wonder if some people actually read descriptions and or product specs.... it's so obvious that they have a above avg penis yet still buy one of the the smaller toys which lists to be under 5 inch and then comes back saying..oh..I can barely fit in... WTF :o  lol... one good thing I've noticed and not sure when this was implemented by TD, the reviews now have the reviewer's girth, length, experience that the poster can fill in when writing the review. this is definitely a plus IMO.

I've came up with a First time buyer instruction below:
1. Measure your fully erected Penis
2. Read "specification" tab in product detail for size
3. Buy a toy that fits
4. Stop whining1 8)
SAY SAY SAY WHOOO~
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SAY SAY SAY WHOOO~

Offline plastik

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Re: Measure Your Dick
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2015, 01:48:17 PM »
In the defense of kong kocks, there are very few toys with the default length of 6-7 or more inches.....and even then that is only the lengths of the toys from front to back, not the internals.  I'm a bit above average, and practically every toy comes in end-to-end lengths smaller than me, which means the tunnel is going to be even less, so I have to expect some stretch and pliability.   Heck even a lot of the meiki hips only have 5-6 inch canals. 

Although I do think some reviews do come from people who use toys or care for them incorrectly, or simply have unrealistic expectations.  Some guys are soo excited from all the hype some products get, that when they try it out and it doesn't feel like a real woman is right there with them, they become discouraged.  As real as we can say things feel, they're never actually real....but some guys go into it like they're expecting the toy to transform into a real woman. 

I find a lot of people who make bad reviews, are virgins, haven't had much actual sex, or are first time buyers.   Some guys expect to pound these toys at the speed of light, and even in real life that desensitizes the feeling of sex.   Too much lube; desensitized, too little lube; over-sensitized.    There's just simply a lot of men that don't really know how to touch themselves or women for that matter.  There's men that go through whole relationships being soo overzealous about sex that they never once stop to let their woman move the way she wants and do what makes her feel good, they're always just eager to jump on and thrust at them like a dog humping a leg, they get off like jackhammers.  That's the source of most relationship sex problems.

Another problem is over-use.  With toys there really isn't a set guideline for how often to use your toy and how long it will hold up with X amount of use.  They just give them to you with no mention about how long they're intended to last.  I'd say if you even use any toy once a day, you'd be lucky to have it last you 6 months to a year.  Many can last longer but it all depends on how gentle you are with them, something that's not necessarily soo easy in the heat of the moment.   As people get more comfortable with toys, they may get rougher with them or put less effort into caring for them.       

I'd say pretty much any hole will be expected to develop a tear at the opening eventually, if not the first few uses, regardless of how gentle you are....it's just an inherent physics limitation of these materials based on the geometry.  These "<>" shaped edges of the opening simply aren't going to hold up mechanically with such soft materials.  As good as these materials might feel, they are by no means perfect for longevity.   It's pure physics that rubbing a harder surface (your skin) against any softer surface for long enough, will result in wear and tear.  If your pocket pussy could feel, your penis would probably feel like sandpaper to it, even with lube. 

If you had sex with a real woman who couldn't heal or grow new cells, her vagina would be full of rips and tears.  It's the fact that we do heal, that we don't look like walking piles of cuts and sores.   

But I do think advances need to be made to make toys more durable, and they do need to setup better warranties.   I'd say that every toy, regardless of its specification, should be designed and expected to last for 3 months without any serious issues to impede its use, under normal usage, with a penis at maximum double the length of the canal.   

The issue is, sex toys material sciences are still new, so there are a lot of materials that feel really good, but are really bad for any sort of longevity.  They kind of just mad scientist these things based on industrial formula's, so they take a rubber or plastic and think "hmmm....what formula would make this softer or jiggly?".  So they literally take thousands of different sample and look for the ones with the most desired properties, then other companies rip these off and create their own with slight variations.   It's like how there's this world wonder iron rod that hasn't rusted for hundreds of years because they accidentally used a special mixture when forging it.....sex toy material science hasn't gotten that far yet.  So there's many sides to the dilemma; some people have unrealistic expectations, some toy materials are simply not great for longevity or not consistent, and we can't blindly defend them just because we like them.   

There will be bad batches, usage in different environments, heck even the oils on your skin or potential residue left over from shampoo could possibly affect the longevity of a toy.   I've had two of the same toy before, and even with good toys there can be differences in quality.   I had a cyberskin toy opening rip on me after first few uses.....had another of the same toy take months to develop any tears. 

Reviews also go the opposite way.  I see people who have dual layered onaholes falling apart within a month, with a regular or small sized penis, and they still give it a 4-5 stars.  Even if a toy feels great, if it's pricey and breaks down soo fast, it's not worth that high of a rating.



« Last Edit: September 23, 2015, 01:56:18 PM by plastik »
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Offline jonn

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Re: Measure Your Dick
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2015, 08:49:01 AM »
I thought of my dick as 6 inches but I measured again last night and I only get 6 inches if I measure on the bottom side where there is extra baggage at the base.  Measuring the top side I actually get 7 inches.  This is so laughably unscientific.  If you don't like the measurement one way, just bend it another way or measure from a different spot.

Anyway, the fact remains I bottom out in every onahole I ever bought from ToyDemon.  I tend to mention this in my reviews but I think the only review I ever devalued for it was the Maria Ozawa.  That was only -1 star because being too long in that one meant poking through a very thin wall which would eventually tear.
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